community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize