Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
