NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
