Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
