Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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