i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
