I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize