there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
