I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
