I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
