Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize