Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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