Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize