Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
