You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
