I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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