Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
