Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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