I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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