You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
