If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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