yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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