This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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