Tell her she can't have a vagina
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
