Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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