hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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