anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
