I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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