i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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