I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
