i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
