ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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