He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
