So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
