remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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