I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
