So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
