Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
