I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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