thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
