she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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