the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Shame - the story of my life.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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