did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
