also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
