I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
