do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
