he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
