That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
