just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
