I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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