There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
