Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
