I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
