just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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