i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
