why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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