if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
