I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
