oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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