do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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