ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
