I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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