I wish I only lived at night.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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