I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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